User Profile

Character Demographics:

Fandom: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Name: Dick Solomon
Age: Um...uh...45? Yes! Of course! 45! *laughs nervously*
Physical Appearance: Ludicrously gorgeous, and completely, guaranteed human, too. Not a quivering purple tube, at all.
Education: Much better than yours.
Occupation: Far too brilliant professor of astrophysics at a far too mediocre third-rate university. (Also High Commander of a ragtag team of alien observers.)
Significant Other: Maaaary! *dreamy sigh*
Sexual Preference: Oh, women, definitely. I'm the man, you know.

Character Biography:

History: Several years ago, a band of ragtag explorers from a distant galaxy were sent to Earth to observe the people of this planet. They disguised themselves as a human family and took up residence in a badly-decorated attic in Rutherford, Ohio. Dick, the High Commander and the "father", took up teaching physics at the not completely awful Pendleton State University, where the suicide rate was high and the literacy rate was low. There, he fell in love with his office mate, Dr. Mary Albright, and proceeded to make her life a merry-go-round of a rollercoaster of a ferris wheel, the kind of ride after which you throw up in rainbow colors on the nearest little girl's saddle shoes. Although completely naïve to the ways of earthlings at first, Dick and his team--Sally, the security officer and sister; Tommy, the intelligence officer and son; and Harry, the transmitter and idiot brother--gradually came to learn about humans and appreciate living among them, even coming to fit in as well as Chilean sea bass in a pen of golden retriever puppies.
Personality in seven words or less: Petulant, callow, self-obsessed, mercurial, curious, well-meaning, conspicuous.
How Others Perceive Your Character: People often wonder how a grown man can behave the way Dick does.
Beliefs, Convictions, Morals: Dick believes that he is gorgeous, a superior being, and that everybody should do what he tells them.
Reason(s) for Escaping to Canada: If Dick knew why he was in Canada, he'd be in Ohio!
Their DHAs [Dreams, Hopes, and Aspirations] for Canada: To win back Mary and to find out what has happened to the rest of his team and how he got to Canada, of all places, eh?

Twenty-Questions for the Characters:

1. What turns them on: Oh, the usual. Breasts, booty.
2. What turns them off: The big red button on the tv remote.
3. Would they see a shrink: My God! Aren't these people's heads small enough already?!?
4. Worst Childhood experience: Let's see, uh, worst childhood experience, of course. Uh, yes. Of course I have one! Ahahaha! Everyone has a worst childhood experience. Tommy, you're the Intelligence Officer, you were supposed to make us worst childhood experiences!
5. Favorite Film: Man, Woman, Bed Cake.
6. Favorite Song: Purple People Eater.
7. Favorite Word: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious.
8. Least Favorite Word: Jello.
9. Favorite Curse Word: Damn!
10. Best gift ever received: My unusually large and distinguished cranium.
11. Sound or Noise they hate: You know that sound when you've accidentally thrown your nice expensive new watch that your girlfriend gave you in the trash, and your sister empties it out because it's trash day, and the garbage truck comes, and you hear that pretty metallic sound when it drops into the compactor, and then you hear that awful crunching sound when the compactor closes? That one.
12. Sound or Noise they love: Mary's laugh. Also the ice cream truck. Oh! And Christmas carolers running away screaming when you go out in your zombie costume from Halloween to scare them away. Raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens. Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens...
13. Do they know the answer to 64 million dollar question: 42. Everyone knows that.
14. [Complete the sentence] ... All the world's a stage... It is? *looks around* Is it Theatre in the Round?
15. Did Yoko Ono really break up the Fab Four: She did! It was so sad. *sniffles*
16. Chuck Norris or Bruce Lee: Bruce Lee.
17. Half full or half empty: It's half full. No, half empty! Half full! Half empty! Full! Empty! Aaaaaggghh!
18. Coke or Pepsi: There's no difference. What is the matter with you earthlings?
19. If they were a Jellybean flavor, which one: Whatever it is, it would be delicious, let me tell you.
20. And, finally, if Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? I hope God doesn't ask me for a status report.


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